What did I do to cause this?

Human beings are really infinite and consider themselves the opposite.  Just quiet your mind enough and discover that which is just behind your mind---your omniscience.  Wherever you are, you can use every incident, every relationship to grow by. Just don't stop seeking.
Seeking should be a 24 hour quest. Almost everything you're doing is unfree behavior.  Examine it and let go of it.  Every time you see non love turn it to love. Only when you are all loving are you free.
Get to the place where no one and no thing can disturb you. Take full responsibility for what's happening to you.  Get the habit of bringing the unconscious causative thought up into consciousness, so that you can drop it and be free of it. 
I developed this. Anytime anything unpleasant would happen to me, I would say, "What did I do to cause this?"  Immediately the causative thought would come up. I would see it and drop it.